Easier said than done, am I right? Recently I’ve seen this in action, from an incredibly strong black woman who you wouldn’t think feared anything… my beautiful mother-in-law. In September, she married her high school sweetheart.
Their paths diverged while in college. Both of them are succeeding in their careers. Both of them have personal achievements, he married for decades and had 4 children, now is widowed; she had an amazing child, Brent, who is now my hot and wonderful husband. From when they were separated, they grew through their separated lives, to the confident people they are today. Despite fears of the past, future, potential judgment of others, they pursued their newfound love.
As a woman, despite my parents doing the best they can (I mean my dad still calls me his princess) … I have insecurities. While my mother-in-law was branching into real-life unchartered territory, it actually made me realize my fears are so minimal. I grew up an athlete, pretty much fit, even with previous pregnancies, my body bounced back pretty well. My mother-in-law’s wedding was 5 weeks after having a baby. Making motherhood look good is kinda my thing. Fashion is kinda my thing. And yet, I was nervous about how I looked. Knowing that no-one would even care, I just was quietly fixated on it.
I’m currently weighing in at 188lbs, but used to hovering at 160lbs,
This meant my dresses no longer fit. I usually encourage myself to workout and lose weight in an healthy way, by not giving in and buying a larger clothing size. But obviously, my hand was forced in this event. First, I can’t or shouldn’t really try to lose weight while breastfeeding, I fear I’d lose my supply. Second, with four kids and now I’m back to work, I’m really struggling to see when I have the time or energy to workout. Basically when I’m at work, my hubs has the newborn and when he’s at work, I have the newborn. I’m sure I’ll figure it out. But for now, what to wear???
At work the other day, a nurse said while looking at pictures of the newborn, “Don’t worry you’ll lose your belly… why arent you wearing Spanx?” Now, I consider work a safe place to be yourself, after all I’ve dedicated my life to medicine and taking care of patients. My gut shouldn’t matter. I definitely felt self-conscious, as everyone then looked at my belly. I don’t own Spanx but I thought maybe I should invest, save myself from these unsolicited comments.
As a great personal stylist, to myself lol, I thought, Bold colors, Patterns, the louder the better! I went to my go-to sites, I wasn’t sure of my size, I kinda assumed a 12. I checked out Rue-la-la, Zara, Gilt, but it wasn’t until ASOS that I hit the jackpot. Now that I had my blue dress, I had to dress my cute accessories, aka my kids lol.
I tried it on, and it fit well! I’m 5’10” and it was perfectly below the knee, the color looked just like the picture, I mean when does that ever happen?!?
So, I felt I looked good, hubs approved, I got compliments at the wedding. All good right? But I looked at some wedding pictures and I was bit horrified.
You could see the complete lower outline of my gut, and my belly button! (I’m one of those people with an outie, and am extremely self-conscious about it.) I was thinking Oh Why, didn’t I buy some Spanx.
Then I thought…
Motherhood is a blessing. My body imperfections are a badge of honor. Like my mother-in-law, you got to not only Face your Fears but Embrace them. And try your darndest not to be paralyzed by them. Inspiration is everywhere, I hope this post gave you a little.